The patriarchal way in which much of the world operates can get to us sometimes. Due dates, irate clients or customers, the pressures of work, and the constant expectation to perform. Perhaps not everyone feels this way, though I know it can all start to get to me. As I grow and evolve as a person and woman aka “adult” into my mid-30s I’ve noticed that out-of-balance masculine energy aka Negative People get me more riled up than ever before.
Up until my mid-twenties, the masculine way of approaching Life, such as logic, performance, production, linearity, and achievement truly ruled my goals and interests. Many of our jobs exist in the masculine. Whether we work for a small private firm, a large public institution, or a charity. Even as business owners, we balance the masculine and feminine on the daily to get our message and offering out into the world. Now, I find myself more and more leaning into feminine goals or intentions a lot more, such as cultivating healthy relationships, cyclical living, energetics, and collapsing time.
But back to the out-of-balance masculine energy. This can show up as some who presents as negative, cynical, nasty, and someone who just hits our trauma triggers in a particular way. I have to admit, for me because of my own lived experiences, I find more often than not, the energy of out-of-balance men to be the most challenging to navigate. I come across this type of energy from time to time in my day job, and I truly feel a pit of anxiety in my stomach every time it happens. Do you ever have that experience too? Where it feels like even though there is so much positivity in your life, this one person or situation can pull you into a state of worry, fear, anxiety, anger, retreat, and a sense of helplessness.
For the last 3 months, I have been practicing the energetics of navigating Life and managing my own energy and emotions around extremely negative people. 95% of the time, things are dandy and my clients, friends, and community are so incredibly loving, kind, helpful, and respectful. Then there is the 5% of the time, that has me playing the blame game, (“they suck and need to figure out their life!”), or the shame game (“I did something wrong”). The intensity of these games has definitely gone down over the last 3 cycles, and I would say (like with many aspects of Life), that tuning into my menstrual cycle has been incredibly helpful in my journey to navigate and/or “deal” with people with negative mindsets and ways of being.
Period/Menstrual Winter: Major protection mode. Set intentions like: “To be loving, kind, and approach through forgiveness. At the same time, I am unavailable to leak my energy. I am impermeable. Right now and always, I am unavailable to anyone disturbing my peace.”
Pre-Ovulation/Menstrual Spring: Our self-confidence is a great tool here. Even when our bodies might be buzzing with worry, we can tap into the knowing that we are being divinely guided. I am meant to be learning this lesson at this particular time. I got this.
Ovulation/Menstrual Summer: Celebrate ourselves, and do something fun that brings us joy! I like to try a new restaurant with my partner, hang out with friends, watch a funny movie, or get out into the forest for a nice long walk.
PMS/Menstrual Autumn: PMS around Negative People can feel like jumping through flaming hoops. This is where we can really draw on ancestral knowledge like meditation, self-awareness, and movement practices. One of these days, I’m going to go to a boxing class during PMS just to get out my own anger and shake off any anger that I might have absorbed from anyone around me.
Personal development, self-growth, and energetic practices do take quite a bit of discipline. There are days when I say, “universe, I’m good on lessons for now, if you could make this day super chill and easy that would be great.” However, I know deep down that through growth and evolution comes the feeling of ease, and the feeling of being protected from the people with a negative energetic field around us.
In solidarity y’all
Taq
Hi & Sat Sri Akal, I’m ਤਕਦੀਰ ਕੌਰ Dr. Taq Kaur Bhandal, the CEO of I’m With Periods. To learn from me, enroll in my online courses for women and our boyfriends or get a copy of my book Self-Care Down There. I am physically based in Halifax, Nova Scotia on Mi’kmaq Treaty Territories. I was born and raised on the west coast of Canada close to Vancouver, British Columbia. My ancestors and family are from the Punjab region of India and Pakistan. I’m passionate about long walks in the forest with my fiancé and dog, and reading rom-coms in the bath.