Alright y’all it’s been a while. It honestly feels like years since I wrote my first blog post for I’m With Periods (oh wait, it has been!) and I noticed that I got so caught up in the outcome of my writing that I forgot why I was doing it in the first place: to fulfill my own inner creativity.
It got me thinking about process, and how it feels like so much of what we do in life, our work, our relationships, our hobbies are for some kind of an end goal or external purpose. We work so that we can make money/dollars/currency and feel connected to some kind of greater community. We have relationships so that at our funerals our ghosts can feel like, “fudge yes look at all these people who love me and whose lives I’ve been a part of.” We have hobbies so that we can talk about how many times we went to pilates that week or how we have gotten into acrylic painting (hypothetically speaking of course…). I’ve been trying out this whole enjoying the process of life thing, but I still find myself focusing on what the end goal of everything is. I think in some ways it is a good skill and habit to have considering the success that I have had in my life so far using this methodology. At the same time, it’s got me wondering: is it actually possible for women and/or those who menstruate to enjoy the process of life? And if so, how?
I’m always astonished about how my partner, Pepperman, can just be so chill about everything that’s going on in his life. Mind you he is a Pisces and water sign so I feel like in some ways it comes naturally to him. Although, in my observation of males in general, it seems like many of them are way less anxious or at least hide it really well. Pan to me thinking through every possible scenario for every possible project that I am working on while I attempt to fall asleep and/or enjoy a calming bath.
Today, it’s finally hot where I live in Canada and I was out for a walk listening to my favourite podcast, Supersoul Conversations by Ms. Oprah Winfrey and the guest du jour was speaking about comebacks. As I’m strolling through the public gardens watching the ducks munch away on bugs while they waddle through the grass, I had aha moment. One way to enjoy the process of life is to really tune into what is going on during our menstrual cycles each day and use it as a cue to lean into whatever challenge, project, question we are working through during that day. Kind of seems like a “don’t-you-teach-about-menstrual-cycles-and-cyclical-living-Taq-and-literally-preach-that-on-your-instagram-and-blog-all-the-time?” moment. Well yes, but this is evidence that even I can forget to do so.
I think part of the realization was that (as I speak), I am experiencing the glorious spike in estrogen that comes in the last two days or so of my cycle as I get ready to get my next period (on day 27 or 28). I woke up with a pep in my step, and was dancing in the shower. This is in comparison to days 16-26 or so during Menstrual Autumn where I tend to feel like the combination of Wednesday Adams and Eeyore (it’s sssssoooooo fun *eye twitch). I’m also in the process of searching and interviewing for my next dream job in my community so that I can feel connection and belonging at a deeper level in the new city that I live in and it feels very much like there is a lot of uncertainty, faith, and trust in oneself and the Universe involved. I’ve also noticed that on the days that I don’t check my email or LinkedIn are the days where I receive good news about my applications, messages from my network, and connection request acceptances from the people that I secretly want to hire me (okay maybe it’s not so secretive). All this to say that this is what I’ve noticed and learned about how to enjoy the process of life through menstrual cycles:
Periods / Menstrual Winter: Do all that you need to do for self+care. I’ve been blessed with pain+free periods and have worked diligently on my own menstrual health to ensure that my periods are actually a fun time rather than a miserable time. Cheer yourself on. Note down your intentions for this cycle in your life. And give yourself a damn break. You freaking deserve it.
Pre-Ovulation / Menstrual Spring: Get. stuff. donnnnnnnee. I find that I tend to radiate out major confidence into the quantum field during this time, and it’s great to use the major increase in sacral hormones during this time. Reach out to that person that you’ve been wanting to connect with. Send in the application to that summer program you’ve been wanting to do for years. Book the trip to the dream vacation that you’ve already saved for but feel unworthy of actually going on. It’s your time to shiinnneee.
Ovulation / Menstrual Summer: Make a point to celebrate yourself in some shape or form. I recently starting doing Restaurant Club with my partner, where we go to a new foodie location in our city and/or surrounding suburbs each month to support the local economy and also cheer ourselves on.
PMS / Menstrual Autumn: We’re probably going to notice a lot of our insecurities come up at this time. Am I enough? Do people actually like me? Even though I’m super well educated am I actually smart or have I been faking it this whole time? Is ChatGPT my only actual friend? etc etc. I used to be so terrified of going into PMS because I knew I would feel like this, and this cycle I reframed it as my body naturally bring this questions of self-doubt into my conscious awareness so that I can release the. Kind of like cleaning out your fridge. Lean into it. Journal about it. Dance it out. Speak them out in front of the mirror. And in the words of the great Philosopher Taylor Swift, “Shake it off”.
Alright, I think that’s all I got for now. More to come soon as I discover my own joy in the process.
Sending lots of love,
Taq